Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore, let us go forth to him outside the camp, bearing his reproach. For we have no continuing city here, but we seek one to come.
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July 16th entry on Rebekah Clark’s personal website.
I have been thinking a lot lately (well, most all the time, really) about all that I’ve had to go through recently and about all the arguments against the truth, especially the issue of when a person is born again. One thought that I had was that ultimately, the only way we ever know what is right or wrong about God is by Him letting us know what is right or wrong. And the way that He communicates to us in this new covenant is by His Spirit, so if you don’t feel the Spirit inside of you saying “Amen” to a doctrine, then it is simply wrong – no matter what it is, or who says it’s right, or how many people agree with it, or what the implications of it are, or how long you’ve believed it. That is as complicated as it should ever get for anyone who is truly after God.
I thought about how that the Spirit is how we know anything at all about anything concerning God – it is the means (the only means) through which He reveals things to us. He might actually speak to a person, he might give a dream, he might do a number of things, but ALWAYS it comes with a feeling of what is right and what is wrong which we have through the Spirit. There are a lot of other feelings out there vying for our attention and trying to deceive us; but that is all the more reason why we should be in tune with the Spirit of God and know what it feels like inside of us so that we can wait until a doctrine (or message or anything else) connects with that Spirit and confirms its truth. After all, the Spirit is God’s life on the inside of us (think about that!) and so it will always agree with how He is feeling because it IS His feelings! And I was thinking about how that all – and this really means A-L-L – other concerns or pressures or implications or decisions or opinions should be utterly irrelevant to us next to what the Spirit is saying. Where ever it is pointing, that is where I want to be. Period. I don’t want any other concern or question or hesitance to be there. No second guessing. Just straight ahead with God.
I’m glad that I have been taught well in the Lord so that I can think and feel this way about what God says – putting it above everything and everyone else. I guess I just took it for granted before, but that kind of stability is so valuable! It sets an unmoveable standard: If God says something, that is the end of the story. All other considerations disappear. There is no compromise. That is what I love so much about my father, mother, and some of the other older ones in the Lord that I have known along the way. I always felt loved growing up, but I also always knew that I am not more important to them than God. I’ve always been fully aware of the fact that if I go another way and stop serving God, it is not going to move them an inch, and as much as it would hurt them, they would never even look back – they would go on, happy in Jesus. I know that. And it’s the same way with the rest of the saints. They love you and they want what is best for you; but they’re gonna be happy, whether you’re there to be happy with them or not! There is safety in feeling that from someone. I love that standard. I want my children to feel that standard in me – it will help to put that standard in them.
But, that is not a casual prayer to pray; it’s a fearful one, because I’m learning that that kind of faith and stability in the Lord doesn’t come without a price. It simply doesn’t – it’s impossible. There are some places in the Lord that you can’t even get to without “paying” for them, so to speak . . . without paying a price to get there. The older I get and the more experiences I have along the way, the more I realize just what a price my parents, Uncle Earl & Aunt Betty, and so many others through the years, have paid for having such a standard. I never knew before what it felt like for people that you have come to love dearly to call you a cult member and despise you. It feels really, really bad inside – it’s hard to explain. It can make you feel so worthless. And it’s hard to hold up under. And to imagine that kind of reaction coming from my brothers and sisters and childhood friends and neighbors and other relatives, etc. . . . gracious! I just never really thought about what all the older ones in the Lord have really been through – all the rejection and hurt over the years. It makes me think, My goodness, how in the world did they not give in to the pressure! How?? But, look at where it has brought us! Wow. I want to be worthy to hold up the standard that has been set. It’s a learning process, and it is very humbling because the minute you think, “Oh yeah, I’ll always be like that – I’m doing great,” you can bet that God will bring along something to trip you up and show you that you are still nothing without Him. :) We need Him every day!