Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore, let us go forth to him outside the camp, bearing his reproach. For we have no continuing city here, but we seek one to come.
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Jealousy is a godly emotion. God is jealous over His people with a capital "J" (Ex. 34:14). In the Bible, jealousy is mentioned in reference to God much more often than it is mentioned in reference to people. In fact, very seldom is jealousy mentioned as something people feel. Elijah the prophet felt jealousy for the Lord because of Israel's attraction to Baal, but it was God's jealousy that he was feeling. Similarly, Paul was jealous over the saints at Corinth when they were being lured away from Christ by false teachers (2Cor. 11:2). What these godly men felt was merely an extension of the heart of God for His people. A husband may feel jealousy for his lawful wife (Num. 5:11-31), but that too, is of God, for the institution of marriage is not of man; it is an expression of the will of God. Jealousy is God's creation, and the Bible never views it as an evil thing.
Jealousy is a God-given, protective feeling over what rightfully belongs to you. Envy, on the other hand, is an ungodly desire for what rightfully belongs to another. In the Bible, envy is always described as sin; it is never right. Jealousy is never called sin, but it can be destructive, as it can be beneficial, depending on what kind of person is moved by it.
When jealousy burns in a person's spirit, especially a spouse, to the point that his spirit is tormented, or accusations are made, or especially to the point that physical violence occurs, there is always a reason for it. One must be slow to judge in such cases, however, because the reason for someone feeling such strong jealousy may not be that the accused person is guilty. It may be that the guilty person is the one accusing his spouse of unfaithfulness. This can happen when a guilty spouse wants to cover his own dirty tracks with an appearance of innocence. Or it could also be that the guilty accuser is simply worried that his spouse might also be guilty. After all, it is difficult to be unfaithful to your spouse without wondering what your spouse is doing while you are being unfaithful. But the important lesson here is that every time strong jealousy rises in a spouse's heart, somebody is guilty. The only question is, who? The accuser or the accused?
Often, when feelings of jealousy grow to the point of accusation and abuse, neither party has actually committed an act of adultery. But God has created jealousy in such a way that if the mere desire to commit adultery enters into the heart of a spouse, that intruder into the heart can arouse a raging spirit of jealousy. So, the wife of a husband whose secretary at work has caught his eye can feel jealous and not know why. And the guilty husband can then deny fervently and convincingly that he has done any wrong, leaving the wife puzzled and wondering what is wrong with her that she would accuse a faithful husband of such sin.
Sitting with a quarreling couple one evening, listening to their mutual suspicions about each other, and conflicting accusations, my father explained to them this truth, that adultery, or the mere desire to commit it, brings strong jealousy into a home, and then he asked them a blunt question. He said, "Now, you tell me. Which one of you is guilty?" Neither of them would answer, and from that night until years later, when my father died, neither of them ever brought up the subject of unfaithfulness again, at least not in my father's presence. The light makes darkness ashamed to show itself.
God instituted a "Trial of Jealousy" in ancient Israel, for those times when a strong spirit of jealousy came over a man concerning his wife. The accused woman was brought before Jehovah in His temple, was forced to uncover her head in His presence, and then to go through a short ritual. If God struck her with sickness after that, she was exposed as guilty and her husband's feelings were justified. If she was blessed by God with continued good health, then she was justified as blameless before all Israel, and the people then must have wondered then what was wrong with her husband.
The existence of the jealousy ritual is evidence of the power of the emotion of jealousy, which Solomon said was "cruel as the grave". In compassion for human beings who are subject to this powerful emotion, God gave Israel a way to deal with jealousy when it arose in its strength. And in this New Covenant, He has given to all people His Spirit, which can easily subdue even the fiercest of man's emotions. We should be thankful for such mercy. Without God's help, man has always been helpless in coping with the burning fire of jealousy. It is too strong for man. It can consume a person's reason and self-control. But with God's help, there is nothing that can overwhelm anyone's desire to do what is right because there is nothing stronger than God.