Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore, let us go forth to him outside the camp, bearing his reproach. For we have no continuing city here, but we seek one to come.
Select a thought to read by choosing a collection, the month, and then the day:
"Thou shalt not hate
thy brother in thine heart.
Thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbor,
and not suffer [allow] sin upon him."
Lev. 19:17
"Whoso is partner
with a thief hateth his own soul;
he heareth cursing and betrayeth it not."
Prov.
29:24
I have been pondering this morning over my personal history with the saints, in particular over the lives of some of God's children who have wandered away from the right way and are now in the wilderness of sin. In retrospect, it can easily be seen that sin not exposed was the beginning of their downfall, and the wisdom we find in the Scriptures shines more brightly because of their night.
In one case, Terry, the wife of a brother Rick, was stubborn and self-willed. Sometimes, when the rage of her desires seized her, she would even throw dishes or other objects at him, at the same time using vile, ungodly words. But all this was kept in the dark by Rick. Rick never allowed anyone in the congregation to know about these episodes, and sin took advantage of his secrecy. It grew until it dominated his home.
Jesus taught me years ago that sin never departs voluntarily (unless it hopes thereby to accomplish a greater sin). It must be driven out. Solomon said that "foolishness is bound in the heart of child", and he gave counsel to parents to use the rod on the backs of their children in order to drive foolishness from their hearts. Otherwise, foolishness will never leave them; they will become foolish adults. It is the same with the body of Christ. When sin creeps into the assembly, it must be exposed and driven out. It will never reach a point at which it says to itself, "I have hurt enough people now; I am satisfied. I will leave." No. It will remain and increase until every vestige of peace and joy are destroyed. Sin will remain until it reigns completely and supreme.
After sin grew to such a degree in Rick's house that it could not be hidden, he and Terry had an outright brawl one day. She ended up in the hospital emergency room, and he had a scratched up face and broken glasses. Who knows what ungodly scenes their small children witnessed? Who knows what obscene words they heard? The county sheriff was called to the home, and great reproach was brought upon the name of Jesus. What kind of testimony were Rick and Terry to their neighbors? A short time after this, they both abandoned their walk with Jesus and turned to the darkness of sin altogether.
The responsibility for the ruin of Rick's home and life in Christ lay squarely at his own feet. For several years, he had shielded his unruly wife from the care of the saints. If he had obeyed God's commandment and exposed and reproved the evil when it first began to show itself, both he and his wife would have received the loving and wise aid of the saints' faith, and the strength of the whole body of Christ is usually sufficient to save any individual member. But Rick was unwilling to seek help from the saints, even though he knew what was happening in his home was evil and that he did not have the strength to oppose it.
But why was no help ever sought? I believe that there were two principal reasons. First, I believe that Rick had sins that he, himself, was hiding, and because of that, he did not possess the moral strength to demand uprightness from his wife. Second, I believe he knew what counsel the saints would give him, and he did not want to hear it. It was not love for his wife that kept him silent, nor was it the love of God. It was love of self and of pleasure. In concealing the unruly spirit of his wife from the saints, he was preserving his privilege to her bed. She ruled the house by the threat of withholding her pretty body from him, and over time, he was subjugated to her by his own lust.
In a marital relationship without Christ being the head, if a husband has no control over his own lust, his wife will use her body to control him. And when a wife controls the husband, children usually control the mother. So, when a married man with children has insufficient control over his own lusts, his children, typically, dominate the home. The healing from this carnal way of living together comes only from Jesus. Nobody manipulates anybody when the Spirit of God is in control of a home.
Not long before Rick and Terry finally broke their covenant with Jesus and went away, I and a few faithful saints sat and talked with Rick. I explained these things to him. I reminded him of how much like her manipulative mother Terry had become. I reminded Rick of some experiences through which God had previously taken him, things intended as warnings concerning his home. In particular, I reminded him of the story he had told me once concerning his father in law, Darryl. Rick had told me a couple of years earlier that Darryl had broken down and sobbed like a child because he wanted to be with God's people but Peggy, his wife, "wouldn't let him." I explained to Rick that his mother-in-law Peggy had used her body to whip Darryl into line, that he was like a whipped puppy with her, trembling at her displeasure. And I pointed out to Rick that Terry had now done the same thing to him because of his own lack of self-control.
Rick weakly sighed and said quietly, "I think you've hit the nail right on the head."
He left us that afternoon determined to return home, to do the will of God, and to put his house and life in order. That night, he and Terry had another violent fight.
The secret of her sin had been kept from the saints too long. Now, sin was head of Rick's house, not Rick. Terry abandoned the faith, and soon after, Rick followed, unable to keep himself from her.
We make ourselves partners with sin when we seek to hide it from the saints. And when we hide sin while we are part of an assembly of saints, we can force the unsuspecting saints into an unwilling partnership with it, too. In the Bible, we find a number of cases in which God's people suffered and even died because certain ones among them secretly brought sin into the camp (e.g. Joshua 6 & 7). That is why we are warned not to allow sin to remain hidden among us but to rebuke our neighbor (that is, fellow believers) and to "betray" any cursing that we hear. Isn't it interesting that God says (in the verse quoted at the beginning of this letter) that he who fails to rebuke a brother who commits a sin is to hate him?
We do no one a favor by hiding his sin from the saints. We only make room for that sin to grow in his heart and, so, endanger God's people. Secrecy is fertilizer for sin. That is why Paul, that wise old warrior of the faith, commanded young Timothy to rebuke openly those who sinned, so that those who were looking on could learn to fear God (1Tim. 5:20) and, so, escape the sin that "doth so easily beset us".