Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered outside the gate. Therefore, let us go forth to him outside the camp, bearing his reproach. For we have no continuing city here, but we seek one to come.
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Friendship with the world is enmity against God. Whoever becomes friendly with the world makes himself the enemy of God (James 4:4). The man who desires God's best must refuse the best of the world, and one of the best things that the world has to offer is its friendship. "Every man at his best state", David said, "is altogether vanity." Then, to make themselves friends with worldly men, God's children must become worldly because worldly men cannot make themselves righteous. The world cannot commune with the upright in holy things; therefore, if there is to be friendship, the righteous must demean themselves to commune with the world concerning vanity. When children of God and sinners mingle, it is always the righteous who must compromise if there is to be friendship.
This is why friendship with the world is enmity against God. We have to, temporarily at least, forsake holiness to make friends with those whose spirits are at enmity against God.
This does not mean at all that we cannot be good neighbors or that we can never speak of mundane matters to those around us. Many a saint has made a fool of himself pretending that he is too holy to discuss public events, or even the weather, with others. But there is a line in our efforts to show ourselves friendly that the Spirit of God will forbid us to cross, and we must take heed to that gentle, loving voice. It is our safety.
Days before his death, my bedridden father was miraculously used by God to reprove me for being too friendly with the world. I had just finished having a too-friendly conversation with a sinner, a conversation held far from the hospital where my father lay dying. He knew nothing about that conversation, but the anointing of God that was upon him for my good knew. It wasn't a foul-mouthed conversation or anything like that; I was just trying too hard to make someone like me who didn't much like God. I encouraged that sinner's vain conversation instead of keeping my mind and my mouth where it should have been.
In retrospect, it is easy to see that, in that conversation, my mind was more on making that particular sinner happy with me than on making sure that Jesus was happy with me. He is too jealous to put up with that from any of his children. Paul learned this lesson well. He wrote that "if I yet pleased men [the way he had formerly done], I should not be the servant of Christ" (Gal. 1:10).
The Bible speaks of those whose hearts prefer to be praised by men than to be praised by God (Jn. 12:43). Jesus rebuked sharply those whose hearts foolishly preferred honors conferred upon them by men to the honor that comes from God alone (Jn 5:41-44). He also warned his disciples that they could not serve both God and earthly riches (Lk. 16:13). We must choose! There is no middle ground in our hearts. God will not share His glory with anyone or anything. But, back to my story.
Taking my leave of the sinner with whom I had been talking, I took the elevator up to the hospital room where my father lay, just days away from falling asleep in Jesus. Entering the room, I stood by his bed, and we spoke a few minutes about nothing in particular. Then, suddenly, he looked up and weakly said to me in words close to these: "The way you come to know the truth is that you don't play both ends of the line." Then he went back to being weak and half awake, as usual. I knew he knew nothing of that overly friendly conversation I had just had. Jesus was displeased with my efforts to win the favor and friendship of a person who was unclean through disobedience and self-will, and he used his dying servant to rebuke me for trying.
The Bible is consistent in its demand that we cannot have it both ways. We either love God or we love death. We either do good or we do evil. When we try to mix the Spirit God gives us with the spirit carnal men have, we ourselves become evil. God's kingdom is never part one thing and part another. Our faith is unadulterated or it is vain. Either our eye is single or we are full of darkness. Either the world is pleased with us or God is. Nobody can have it both ways, and if you think you do, you're just fooling yourself.